Home is Where You Are
by Psyched
Summary: Post-ep for Home is Where the Heart Is (8x06). And no, I still don't even own any of the DVDs.


Kensi shoved her half-eaten dinner away and picked up her phone. _Enough of this_ , she thought, and was about to dial Deeks' number when she spied movement on the other side of the hallway window.

Deeks made his way cautiously to Kensi's doorway and stopped there, unsure of his welcome. Kensi was seated across the room on the couch where he usually slept. "Hey," was all he said.

"Hi," Kensi's tone was warm and inviting. "You can come in, I won't bite."

"You know I don't mind it when you bite a little," he joked.

"Don't, Deeks."

"Don't what, Kens?"

"Don't let me off the hook that easy." She patted the space next to her. "Come sit. We need to talk."

"Alright," he drawled slowly. Sitting down, Deeks pulled Kensi's legs up and across his lap. He began massaging her left calf and foot the way he'd seen her do it.

Kensi took Deeks' left hand into her right. "First, I'm sorry for the way I treated you this afternoon. I know you were trying to help, and I love you for it. I didn't figure out until later exactly why I was so upset, but I shouldn't have walked away from you like that."

"Well, technically, you rolled away. Even more specifically, you were rolled away." Kensi's slightly shocked expression had Deeks back-peddling. "Too soon for wheelchair jokes?"

Kensi shook her head and smiled sadly, "No, I'd say perfect timing, actually. I deserve the mocking, and much worse, probably."

"Come here." Deeks slid closer to Kensi and placed his hand on her cheek. "If you really need to hear me say it, you're forgiven." They shared several long, loving kisses, until they both felt better. "Now, care to tell me what had you so upset?"

Kensi let out a sigh. "I know you want to have a positive attitude about my recovery, and I appreciate that, most of the time. You know that I'm going to work as hard as I can to get back to a hundred percent."

"Damned right. Kick-Ass Kensi will be back and better than ever."

"But that's just it, Deeks. I might not be." When she saw Deeks open his mouth to contradict her, Kensi added quickly, "No, let me finish." At his nod of agreement, she continued, "The fact is, no matter how much I do or how hard I work, it might not be enough. This may be as good as it gets for me."

"Baby, you can't think like that."

"But I _have_ to, Deeks, and I need you to. Just for right now. I'm not saying I'm convinced this will be the outcome, but I need to know what will happen if it is."

"What do you mean?"

"What my will life be like, if I can't walk again. Please, no optimistic 'everything's gonna be fine' this time. Tell me the truth: what happens if I'm in that chair forever?" If Kensi were being completely honest with herself, she would admit that she needed to hear Deeks say he would be right there with her, in her suddenly uncertain future.

Deeks thought for several long moments before taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He hated thinking about his vibrant, energetic, _active_ Kensi spending the rest of her life in a wheelchair. "Well, I guess first thing is we'd have to get a new house, on one level. Unless you want to get one of those stair lift things for our house? Doesn't matter either way to me, so long as I'm waking up to you every morning. My home is wherever you are. As evidenced by the fact that I'm practically living on this couch now." He gave her a lopsided grin.

Kensi shook her head at the idea of a stair lift, but the knot that had taken up residence in her chest that afternoon began to loosen. She knew Deeks would always be by her side, but it comforted her now to hear him speak the words.

"Okay, so a one-story house. Then I suppose we'd have to figure out what to do for a living. You can't see yourself doing anything that doesn't involve protecting people, so we could maybe open up our own self-defense or combat training school for civilians or something like that. You could teach people who aren't fully mobile, or who have other disabilities, and I could teach the rest. And then maybe in ten years or so, our kids could join in the fun and we can use them to demonstrate their kiddie Viking ninja assassin skills."

 _We. Our. In ten years or so._ Yes, she'd needed to hear that. "What about LAPD and NCIS?"

"You're the one with the hero complex, Kens, not me. I know I've said that being a cop is who I am and not just what I do, but I've come to realize that I don't _need_ to do it. Especially if you're not there as my partner."

"I don't want you to quit your job for me."

"Don't you get it? I wouldn't be leaving my job for you, I'd be leaving for us. I already told you, I want us to live long enough to enjoy raising a family together. We have a much better chance of that happening if we're in a different line of work. Preferably one that doesn't get us shot at on a daily basis and nearly blown up at least biweekly. And Kens? I as much as I may love being a cop and working at NCIS, I love working with you more. We're partners, no matter what. I don't care what I do for a living. If I'm doing it with you, I'm good."

Kensi was quiet for a bit, considering Deeks' comments. "Self-defense, huh?"

"Well, that's just what I came up with off the top of my head. Give it some more time and I'm sure we can come up with other options."

"No, I kind of like that idea. As long as you don't wear that hideous yellow jumpsuit, I can see us doing that."

"Right? And I'll only break out the Bruce Lee Jeet Kune Do _fight gear_ for special occasions."

"Like Halloween?" Kensi laughed, scarily, at her own joke, then laughed more at Deeks' terrified face. "Thank you, babe. This really helped." She picked up and kissed the back his hand.

"I'm here to serve, Princess. But next time, just tell me you want Debbie Downer Deeks instead of Pollyanna Deeks, and he'll be there."

"I didn't want you to be a Debbie Downer, just realistic. And you were. But yeah, I'll try to figure that out a little sooner next time. I really am sorry." Kensi hung her arm over Deeks' shoulder and rested her hand against his chest.

"I know you are, Kens. But you don't need to be. This isn't easy for you, I get that. You're entitled to a bad mood every once in a while."

"But I shouldn't take it out on you. This hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for you either. No pun intended."

"When I'm the one who's always here, I make the easiest target. I'm tough, I can take it. Please don't worry about it anymore. We're good." Deeks toyed with Kensi's hand while they sat quietly for a few minutes.

"Can I tell you something, Kens?" Deeks finally whispered into the silence.

"Of course."

"I honestly don't care if you walk again or not. I mean I do care, obviously I want you to walk because it will make you happy, and your life will be easier. But I spent a couple of weeks not knowing if you would ever wake up. So this?" Deeks gestured toward Kensi's legs. "This is nothing. We can handle whatever this ends up being, whether you need a wheelchair, or crutches, or nothing at all."

"I know we can. We're pretty good together."

"You kidding me? We're freaking awesome together. Which reminds me…"

"Hmm?"

"Did I ever tell you that when you were in your coma, I…um, I kind of…um…I proposed?"

Kensi sat up straight, her attention now laser-focused on Deeks. "What! No, you somehow neglected to mention that to me before now."

"Yeah, well, I was telling you that I had planned to ask the way you wanted. The beach, the sunset, all of it. But then things changed, and you were in a coma, and I was trying to adapt to the situation. Just like we'll adapt to whatever happens with you, Kens. I promise."

Kensi looked confused. "Wait. All of that was a lead up to 'We'll adapt to whatever happens?' You're not proposing to me right now?"

"Um…I don't know? Do you want me to? Right now, I mean."

"Not without a ring. Haven't we been through this already?" Kensi teased.

"Well as it turns out, I do have your ring." Deeks stretched out his leg so he could reach into his pocket.

"In your pocket? You've just been carrying it around with you?"

"Yup. What do you say?"

"Is that your proposal?"

"What? No, of course not. I'm asking you if you want me to ask you now."

Kensi needed a moment to parse Deeks' declaration. "Oh." The smile that Deeks loved slowly bloomed on Kensi's beautiful face. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Okay, but for future reference, I don't think 'I guess I do' will be acceptable on our wedding day."

"I'll try to remember that."

Deeks gently put Kensi's feet back on the floor, and then got down on one knee in front of her. He took both of her hands in his and cleared his throat. "Kensi. I love you and I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. Whether you're able to walk down the beach to me on our wedding day, or someone has to pull you in a wagon…although I'm not sure how that would work since the wheels would probably sink into the sand, just like a wheelchair's would. Maybe you could be pulled on a toboggan or something like that – "

"Deeks…" Kensi was both charmed and frustrated by his detour.

"Sorry, right. Back to the proposal." Deeks closed his eyes as if to center himself. When he opened them, they were full of the promise of a lifetime together. "Kensi Marie Blye, will you marry me?" He held the out ring to her.

Kensi held his eyes for a beat or two, just enjoying the feeling of the moment, before she answered softly, "Yes, Deeks. Of course I'll marry you."

"Yeah?" Deeks knew Kensi would accept, but he still felt the need to confirm it. That this incredible woman had actually just promised to grow old with him.

"Yeah. Now get up here and kiss your fiancée." Kensi reached for him with her right hand.

"Let me just put this ring on your finger first." As he spoke, Deeks gently took Kensi's left hand and did just that. "Yup, spectacular."

"If you do say so yourself." Kensi added as she pulled her left arm toward her body. She could move the arm reasonably well, if somewhat slowly, but still had little voluntary control over her hand. When she noticed Deeks looking at her oddly, Kensi asked, "What's wrong?"

Had she heard him that night? Deeks had uttered those words right after he'd put the ring on Kensi's finger the first time. But her face looked blank. "Nothing. It's just…never mind." He shook his head and picked up Kensi's left hand and angled it so she could see the ring better. "You want to maybe put it on your right hand? So you can ogle and admire it easily?"

"No. I'll use it as motivation." Examining the ring more closely, Kensi smiled. There were two diamonds of the same size, and the thin white gold band curved above and below the stones. "It's beautiful, Deeks. A little unconventional, but beautiful. I love it." She met his eyes again. "And I love you."

"An exceptional ring for an exceptional woman." He kissed her knuckle right below the ring. "Do you know the significance of two diamonds like that in an engagement ring?"

"Twice the bling?" She smiled.

"That's true, but no. One diamond is for my best friend and partner, the other is for my true love." With that Deeks got up and kissed his fiancée for the first time.

"I love you," they said at the same time when the kiss broke.

This time when Deeks returned to his place on the couch, he pulled Kensi onto his lap so they could celebrate their engagement a little more comfortably. They had a lot of kissing to make up for, Deeks figured, with all the time Kensi had been unconscious.

Several minutes later, Kensi pulled away, breathless. "We should probably stop now, before we can't."

"Yeah, it's usually like Union Station in here. We're lucky we managed to be alone for this long." Deeks began disentangling himself from Kensi.

Glancing at the open door and window that overlooked the hallway, Kensi noted, "I have a feeling it was more consideration than luck."

"Probably," Deeks acknowledged, reverently brushing Kensi's hair behind her ears and pressing one more soft caress to her lips.

"We're getting married," Kensi whispered excitedly, on cloud nine at the way their evening had ended. She certainly hadn't anticipated it would go in this direction when Deeks showed up tonight.

"I know we talked about a beach wedding, but we don't have to do that if it's going to be too difficult to get you down a sandy aisle." Deeks offered, trying to consider the reality of the situation should Kensi still be in a wheelchair when they said their vows.

"Thanks, baby. I've actually seen wheelchairs made for the sand. So no matter what, we're getting our beach wedding." Kensi wrapped her arms around Deeks' neck and leaned in to press her cheek against his. She whispered in his ear, "But I'm planning to walk down that aisle to you."

 _And I know you will_ , thought Pollyanna Deeks.

* * *

 **AN:** I can't remember who it was (and now I can't find the post), but thanks to the person on Tumblr who mentioned the meaning of a two-stone engagement ring.


End file.
